Unequal Yoking

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Unequal Yoking

Postby stcordova » Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:07 pm

https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueChristian/ ... e/dwou450/

I was good friends with a non christian girl for 7 or 8 years. We talked about everything we could talk about and openly shared in a wonderful way. I loved her. I loved her so much. It was no joke. Eventually we got married. I never felt quite right. No matter how close we got or how much time we spent together, things just didn't fit like oil and water, even though there was a strong love at least from me.

In this process, I didn't think less of God or my religion but I did become corrupt over time. Worse than her. In my heart I pictured us having kids and her teaching them one thing and me teaching them another. Every single detail was different. It really bothered me as the years went on.

She was very very beautiful. A lot prettier than me. She was also a better person than me in some ways. I love her to this day. Yet we are divorced now. She convinced me to move to London. I went into debt and drained all my resources to do it but we made it and I had a fully furnished home and everything. 2 weeks later she left me for another guy who she had been talking to there. A rich guy who has a cool job doing concept art for big films like Blade Runner, and Star Wars. His works very good. In my devastation, I wanted to die. This is a common theme in my life, and everytime the spirit of God comes to me and just makes me steady.

I remember one of our last conversations, she came home (the guy had gotten her a job as a concept artist also, working on Wonder Woman) and she yelled at me saying "Have you been praying in here? This place feels like a church." She was disgusted by this, by me in general. I was disgusting. The Spirit of God wasn't. Why would you yell at someone for praying?

After that I went back to California here, completely broke, in deep debt, broken hearted, and not walking correctly. Not sure if I could ever function again. Its been about 2 years... Im still in debt. I wasn't a functional person for the first year. Im in a better position now, and I am healing overtime. Its kinda slow. I'm kind of slow.

Basically the moral of the story is this. I dont care how pretty she is, how much you love her company, how things seem. In the deep heart you aren't the same. They can look righteous and you can look like a horror. I dont care. We are just not the same species. You don't want someone teaching your kids something that you disagree with deeply.

You also need to stay close to God yourself and you won't save someone else by trying to drag them along with you. God does the saving for God's reasons in God's way. You won't be the hero you want to be in that scenario. Truth be told, if you couldn't handle it all yourself from the beginning how can you handle it all for them? You can't. God's Spirit is what does the good works in our lives. If they don't have the Spirit of God you will fight a losing battle.

It is better for you to take a stand and do the right thing now, and end up in a better place. I didn't follow the rules. I just said "I love this person, how could God be mad about that?" God wasn't mad about that, but God gave instructions and I should not have married her. There are more than one girl I have loved my entire life and I don't have to be married to them all.

Don't violate the command of God to your own destruction like I did. He doesn't say things to you so you obey like a dog. Sit rover! good boy here's a treat! Not sitting? Bad dog whap! It isn't like that... God tells you things to protect you, don't touch the fire. It burns. Don't throw your kids into that fire and sacrifice them to idols. That's stupid.

Your heart will have more joy with a Christian woman. Sharing a lifetime of aligning with God together, is nothing but a gift. Sharing a lifetime of struggle where neither of you agree at the bottom of your heart, will not be worth it, even if you feel like you are in some impossible fairy tale like I did. It's like you dream that you are eating, but at some point you will wake up hungry.
Last edited by stcordova on Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Unequal Yoking

Postby stcordova » Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:08 pm

https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueChristian/ ... e/dwoyvnb/

What a story! Thanks so much for sharing. I know that God can certainly take the broken pieces and put together a beautiful masterpiece as we just hand them all to Him to do so. I pray He does that in your life now. Your story will help so many. It is just like the enemy to tempt us with something that seems so good that we can justify it as being OK.

she yelled at me saying "Have you been praying in here? This place feels like a church."

This part of your story was so interesting to me! She could feel the presence of God but it repulsed her. How sad is that!? :( But I am sure it was helpful for you to see how unequally yoked you really were.

I had to surrender my will in who to marry as I kept choosing some abusive guys. One was even in a gang and I wasn't aware until we had dated for several months. Long story, but he was manipulative and basically used every guilt tactic he could think of to get me to sleep with him. (As a Christian I wanted to remain abstinent until marriage) I was only 17 so pretty young, but when he even used the sexual abuse I went through to tell me I wasn't "technically" a virgin to get me to do even more with him (this was after already compromising in ways I thought I never would even) I was so angry I finally broke up with him. He had already been cheating on me with another girl I found out later.

I feel like God was merciful but this experience really humbled me. I just cried out to God and asked Him to only answer one request, that the man I would marry would be a man who "feared the Lord." That seemed a wise thing to pray for. God was faithful in answering that prayer. :) Of course, I wasn't quite aware that a man who truly fears God doesn't fear man so that has led us into some interesting situations throughout the years. (He is rather bold and will just tell it like it is and we have been hated and rebuked and rejected on many occasions) but my husband is a faithful friend and puts God above anyone, even me, which is exactly what he should do.

I pray God will bless you with the relationships He desires if He already hasn't. It is great to read that you are at a place of surrender. It only gets better as we continue to do so, in every area as hard as it is to just trust in Him and not our own path!
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